I used to think the point of life was to get to a place where there are no *negative emotions*. No anger, doubt, frustration, sadness, pain or sadness.
Everything in life is either borne of fear or love. Banish fear and live from love.
WAHOO!
Shift your paradigm!
Think positively!
Does it sound like a good plan?
I’m going to stick my neck out and suggest that it doesn’t work…
… well perhaps it does *sometimes* – I must admit that since committing my *2 Year Vision* to paper things have shifted faster than I can imagine.
But what about the times when it doesn’t work out how you wanted…?
AHA! Up pops our good friend *FEAR* in one of his many disguises. Ever get those dreams where you are running away but you aren’t sure what from? Well its him… hot on your heels or stalking you from a distance… Either way he is out there lurking!
Did you ever hear this expression “What You Resist, Persists!”
Well its true… but only always.
You think you have put enough distance between yourself and the thing that scares you most. You start to relax and breathe more easily and you think it is over. But just like the T-800 Terminator played by Arnie in the first film can’t just ‘get rid’ of *FEAR*! Just when you think you are safe you hear that eerie sound and have to start running again!
You may be familiar with the idea of ‘Swallowing the Frog’…
Well I’d like to take it to the next level.
Don’t just endure your frog for breakfast and surf the achievement for the rest of the day…
I say munch it down with relish and then look for the next tasty morsel.
FEAR for breakfast
FEAR for lunch
FEAR for supper
Hell you can even raid the fridge and have a midnight snack the next time you wake up in a cold sweat and can’t remember what you were running away from in your *bad* dream!
“Waiter! Please can you tell me, what is on the menu today?”
“Aaaah the house special sounds delicious. I’ll take one of those with the frog salad on the side please!”
So what is your favorite flavor of fear? Leave a comment!
The Human Growth Project 
Hi Dunstan thanks for your thoughtful post, what I’m understanding is that as I resonate inside (heart rhythms, head rhythms, breath, gut, others) I attract more of same and thus if I create from a place of “this is not what I want” then I empower the “not what I want”. So if I’m trying to get over there because I dont like here, then guess what that bad dream I run and the ground never changes, stuck in a Groundhog Day! (My fave B Grade!)
When I’m aligned with Source/Peace/Joy then the creations reflect that in kind-I literally am a tuning device! BZZZ ping! The world is mirroring my internal state. The internet is like a feedback mechanism for the mind to show us how our mind works, its fascinating!
The ‘Work of Byron Katie’ totally lays it all out in the simplest form so that the mind doesn’t even know that its been bypassed and the heart found.
Heaps of love Ruth
Hey Dunstan!
Great post.
I still live with the philosphy of bumbling… Wishes yes, expectations no… Wishes are important and an integral part of who you are, but when expectations take over more importance that your wishes something has gone wrong and you have been eaten by fear. Turn it around and be clear what you wish, but digest your disappointment if things don’t turn out the way you like. Inshallah you could say.
It takes courage to find the confidence that things will still turn out the way you want them to if your expectations have not been lived up to. If you do manage to eat your fear and doubt though, hate will not have much grip on you and it will be much easier to see possible ways forward.
Anyway, that’s what I think about fear and doubt and hate.
Great to hear your thoughts!
Love, Michael
Dearest Dunstan,
I did not completely understand your blog, I think because our lives are so completely different. You will probably find my perspective totally different from yours. Just a chat though.
Jeremy & I are in Nepal now and something I have noticed is that the people who come to climb Mount Everest are here for spiritual reasons. They have set themselves a goal to achieve at any cost, sometimes because of disappointments in their work or personal lives. They pay huge amounts of money to do it and they are totally self absorbed about their physical well being and mental strength to climb that mountain. On the other hand they seem to totally block out the practical and physical needs of the porters, who to a certain extent sometimes literally carry them emotionally, in additional to carrying huge loads on their backs, making tea, meals, putting up tents etc… Some climbers become so obsessed with achieving their goal that they endanger their own lives as well as others. They would rather climb that mountain than be thwarted by having to stop and literally put someone else’s life first. I have now decided that it takes a lot of courage to give up one’s goals for the love of others or just accepting one’s own humanity. The super fit do not tend to make it to the top of the mountain. It seems they suffer from altitude sickness easier, trying to get there quicker. There is something wrong in their mind set as well that will not take into account their humanity and that the mountain will win. The slow and steady less fit or less strong people, giving only what they can, seem to get there. I think of The Mountain as Life.
For myself I feel that our lives are almost predestined by some God or Universal energy. Anger, doubt, frustration, sadness and pain are absolutely essential emotional tools which act as signposts to lead us from one direction onto another. I try to look out for these signposts and act on them. Jeremy works wonders abroad but we feel no defeat for what he does not achieve because situations and people have their limitations as we do as well. As for sadness, well, with you knowing our lives, the greatest sadness is borne of love, and who would be without it. I sometimes think of it as a glorious terrible sadness that was caused by something universal for a purpose of which I have no understanding. I’m not sure I even understand that one myself!!!
FEAR – now recently I went on a “friendly” hash run and was exposed to my biggest fear – having to cross a narrow bridge with gaping holes and a sheer drop below. I had to control myself and not let the group down, darkness falling and not knowing the way home. I will not be doing a hash here again. These people are out of my league. There was a new girl, fantastic fit , who tipped her ankle and was unable to walk for ages. The medical facilities here are not good. Nepal will constantly remind you that you are human.
Jeremy has been training for months and has just managed his work site visit in the districts. At 60 quite a feat but huge relief that he is back safely. His struggles were noticed but he did not come back injured. I am incapable of joining him now.
I don’t think either of us has ever made a really conscious decision about anything. We have gone where the wind and fate has blown us and just tried to look for signposts, but sometimes I think we have fought against those signposts too hard to the extent that that Universal Being has sent stronger, more hurtful signals to initiate a change. This is probably not Jeremy’s thinking, but it is mine.
Anyway I hope you can relate to my babbling and get something out of it for yourself.
Good luck with whatever it is that you are struggling with.
Kind regards,
Mary.
Great post D!
Meeting fear head on can indeed be a scary moment in out lives. But if we don’t confront it when it rears it’s mouse like head it comes back at a later time to bite us in the bum with HUGE lion like teeth.
The main question about facing your fear is: Are you standing on the edge of a dark canyon looking down into it’s depths or standing in the canyon looking up at the endless blue sky? will you leap or will you soar……
Sarah Anne
xx
Hi Dunstan,
Great blog! And very inspiring…For me I used to think that courage was just being super brave and having no fear however now I choose to believe that courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. If I let fear keep me safe then I do so at a price and thereby I lose the opportunity to grow. It used to stop me from taking action, from growing and learning, from experiencing and experimenting, or it steered me off track. I choose to see fear as a signal that I’m going to learn something rather than a signal that something bad will happen and as a result I have been able to step up and experience more in my life.
As I mentioned last night appreciation is a valuable key. l learnt the great little fact that appreciation and fear are felt in two different parts of the brain and therefore can’t be felt simultaneously, so I always focus on what I can appreciate about the situation I fear and the fear starts to diminish!
I look forward to hearing how your new diet goes… 🙂
To your success,
Amber
Nice one Dunstan!
Reminds me of a statement from the first inaugural address of President Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1933; he was speaking at one of the worst points of the Great Depression:
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
That’s my favourite flavour of fear – the fear of fear!
Sure, munch that frog down with relish … and then the next morsel of whatever life serves up; might be more fear, might be joy and love, whatever (I won’t go looking for the frogs!) – my goal is to munch on them all with relish as they come to me.
Cheers
Cos
Dunstan!
You rock. Thanks for your work! And for sharing The Work. ( :
I agree fully that when we eat our fear, fear comes out in our mind, our lives, as Mark would say, we smudge it across everyone and everything in our path. I am known to raid the fridge and wonder what? huh? who was that? Really, I can take care of myself! But a part of us will always disagree, especially when we are fulfilling a purpose, ya know?
My mind’s fear is of being powerful, healthy, happy, and living my potential.
Like this:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson/Nelson Mandela
Can fear be the same thing as desire? I know the story of self doubt. It is certainly the frog served with diet relish. Only a scant amount. Can’t be too much. Might get hurt. Oh, not really.
But, seriously, thank you for sharing the inspiration that we cannot always think our way to right acting, but we can act (or swim) our way to right thinking.
Warmly,
Waller